And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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