dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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