Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
