An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
