I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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