its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
