hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
