My brain says no but my pants say off.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
