PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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