Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
