I will die if light touches me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
