Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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