Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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