So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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