Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
