I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
