She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i need to put some appletini on your dick
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
