Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You need Xanax blowdarts
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
