Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
