drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize