I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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