ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
