He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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