just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
