Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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