Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
