so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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