I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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