Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize