About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
