omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My day in three words: secret purse cake
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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