watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
