wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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