I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
