seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize
