he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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