is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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