so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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