did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
