Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
