Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize