I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
