i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Girls should come with a carfax report
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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