i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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