drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
