I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize