i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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