his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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