Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
