One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
