? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
