can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
