that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Randomize
