Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
