Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she pinky promised me she was 18
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize