i just google imaged poop.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
