She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
