I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am midnight drunk by noon
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
