What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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