found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
