hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
